Edmonton Gamer

Monday, January 09, 2006

Happy New Year, Canada!

Okay so I have been quite the ghost lately and I apologize for that, but it was the new year so get used to it.

CAUTION: Healthy information ahead! Take your big red shoes and turn around now clown ( You know who you are ).

First things first here...On my way to work, I stopped for a bagel and a juice. I work in a call center which is actually inside the downtown mall shopping center. It's nice that we are not actually "in the mall" in a sense that we are above all the stores, but I want to set the atmosphere for you guys. Anyway's while on my way to work after getting my juice, I head for the escalator and out of the corner of my eye I can see that McDonalds has a line-up, already and they haven't even opened! That to me seems quite disturbing.

Our society has become one that thrives on fast food. This can not be allowed to happen or we will gradually turn into our southern-fried friends. It's almost as if every company in the states is based around "Value meals" and "Combo choices" which are making fast food seem even more appropriate and comfortable.

Here's a test:

1. How much do two bottles of pop cost at "7-11"?
2. What is The value combo for Thursday at McDonalds?
3. Which day is "cheap taco" day at Taco Bell?
4. What days are "The Amazing Race", "Big Brother", and "Survivor" on?

If you know the answer to all of these then you are a victom of commercialism, and it's okay because it's not your fault. It's propaganda in advertising. Why do you think there is 8-9 minutes of commercials in your 30 minute show? Think about it...

Nothing is free and when you watch TV you pay, one way or another.

But I digress and return to the main subject.

In a perfect world, fast food would be a soup and sandwich, not a hamburger and fries followed by a soft-drink and an ice cream. Come on here people, think how long a hamburger takes to make at home...It's certainly not less than 4 minutes and you certainly wouldn't want a hamburger that has been sitting in a plastic heated tray for who knows how long. I prefer the taste of a home-made, slopily put together, man-made burger. Plop on a generous amount of Catsup and grind in some fresh Garlic into the meat with some herbs and those puppies turn into real bad boys...mmmmmmm...

I know I shouldn't be a hippocrit here as I tend to consume my fair share of "Fast food", however I do see a need for alternative options in the current market.

I propose to all my fellow Canadians, that you learn about my new diet. It's my new-years diet that I have come up with and have been using for a while now. I have taken a few different idea's and compiled them into one great idea.

It's called the "Stop eating at McDonalds and other fast food restaurants and get some excersize you fat bastard" diet or SEAMAOFFRAGSEYFB. If you think about it, the idea is very simple. Every time you get the urge(addiction) to eat your favorite McFood or fast food, you simply eat a fruit or vegetable alternative (or "heavy" fruit juice / smoothie ). I know this might seem difficult, but we all get the "urge" to eat that shitty food, and by doing this you can eliminate the urges and eat healthier without having to give anything up. I mean we don't want to turn out like those obese sons of bitches down in the States, do we?

I used to be quite the angry person. I used to play a lot of counter-strike and I used to "rage-out" on a lot of people in games for no apparent reason. I used to eat McDonalds whenever I had the chance and I was a chubby little kid in high-school. Upon using this diet, I find myself to be far less aggressive and far less irritable on a regular basis. I find myself searching for healthier alternatives and seeking out fried-free foods ( FFF ). Seriously cut out the FFF and you're set!

Either that or you can go on the Bruno Diet. This one is really easy to do. Every time you reach into the fridge or pantry, this guy named Bruno comes out and punches you out. When you wake up, you can't remember what happened, but you sure aren't hungry any more!

Anyway you should see some updates coming your way soon as I am now back in the swing of things.

Ciao,

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